We thought life is so serious we would add a little place for the funny side of diving. So if you have any contributions feel free to send them to brad@tribalblue.co.za and lets share them with the world, or at least the rest of the dive club.
As an opening contribution Ywain sent this through to me this morning and I had a good laugh.
Lesson One
From "Tribal Blue Safety Manual"
5 Easy Steps to Prevent Shark Attacks
(Very helpful practical advice ....)
1. Don't swim in the ocean.
Ninety-nine percent of all shark attacks take place in exceptionally large bodies of water also known as oceans. The way to determine if you are currently in an ocean is to taste the water, which should be salty. (Exception: the Dead Sea.)
2. Listen for the music.
In the event that you are foolish enough to recreate in an ocean, listen carefully for the music, as demonstrated in the marvelous documentary film "Jaws." All shark attacks are preceded by the "daah-da, daah-da" chords, which will gradually become more rapid as the shark gets closer. This is due to the Doppler effect.
3. Swim with people who are fatter than you...
Try to surround yourself with more appetizing companions. If you know them well, you might even try to switch their suntan lotion with A-1 Steak Sauce. This will definitely improve your odds.
4. Don't panic.
In the event that a shark actually bites you, try to remain calm. This really won't help you survive, but everyone else on the beach will appreciate you not shrieking madly, as this is quite unsettling.
5. See rule one.
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