Truly a book for all Adoption Triangle members:
“Did my first mother love me?” It’s a question an adopted child is likely to ask. When she does, will her adoptive parents panic? Will they ignore the question? Or will they answer as honestly and openly as they can?
In the story, Morgan’s adoptive mother reads her a letter written by Morgan’s birthmother. This birthmother’s love, concern, and caring for her child come through loud and clear as she explains the kind of life she wants for her child. Sadly, she explains that she cannot provide that life for her child so she has given her a different set of parents. “My dearest child, to your parents I have given the precious gift of you,” she writes. Jami Moffett’s shaded pencil illustrations are a lovely and important part of the book.
The nine-page section at the back, “Talking with your Child about Adoption,” was written by Jeanne Warrant Lindsay, author of four other books about adoption. Lindsay offers guidelines for adoptive parents as they discuss adoption with their child. Most important, she writes, is the parents’ attitude toward adoption. If they feel comfortable about discussing their child’s adoption and sharing whatever they know about his/her birthparents, the child is also likely to be comfortable with the concept. The child whose adoptive parents panic at the “Did my first mother love me?” question is more likely to have problems with his adoption.
It’s a reassuring book, a story that can be adapted to the reader’s family situation.
BIRTHPARENTS - A lovely placement gift for her child. Demonstrates her love and explains her reasons for permitting another family to raise her child.
ADOPTEES - A wonderful story for every adopted child who wonders about his/her birthparents.
ADOPTIVE PARENTS - Guidelines for talking about adoption (9-page section, "How to Talk About Adoption with Your Child" by Jeanne Warren Lindsay). Aids understanding of birthparents.
48 pages.
Illustrator
Jami Moffett worked as a sign and display artist for ten years before her children were born. She now is a free lance artist in Sedro-Woolley, WA. She has created numerous magazine illustrations as well as illustrating Breaking Free from Partner Abuse, Did My First Mother Love Me?, Teen Moms, Pregnant? Adoption Is An Option, and Do I Have a Daddy? Jami and her husband, Robert, have three children, Alexandra, Cale, and Markéll.
Review
SMALL PRESS
Did My First Mother Love Me?
A story for an Adopted Child Dathryn Ann Miller, illustrated by Jami Moffett. This poignant message from a birth mother to the child she gave up for adoption offers a portrait of courage and self-sacrifice in which an adopted child can take great pride.
This book will help a child understand the extraordinarily heart-wrenching decision a mother makes in order for her child to have a better life than the one she believes she can provide.
Any mother-to-be who is considering adoption for her child should read this book and be encouraged to write a similar letter which can be read to the child by the adoptive parents at an appropriate time.
-Marie Gentile
School Library Journal
K-Gr 3—A book that helps a family consider an important, difficult question. Even thought Morgan knows all about her adoption, the preschooler sometimes wonders about her “other mother” When she asks, “Did my first mother love me?” her mother reads the letter her birthmother wrote to her. It relates the woman’s wishes to be the one to give her child a safe and happy home, but acknowledges sadly that this is not possible. The adoptive family’s openness and love are evident. Pen-and-ink drawings realistically illustrate the story. A note for parents about “Talking with Your Child about Adoption” is appended. This slim volume will be of value to adoptive parents, especially those fortunate enough to have letters from a birth mother.
-Miller
Wet Set Gazette
This is a short book (each two-page spread consisting of a few lines on one page facing a pencil sketch on the opposite page) dealing with questions of an adopted child, which takes the form of a letter written to the child from her birthmother. It is short and to the point while retaining the poignancy of the birthmother’s deep love for her child.
There are many books out about how a baby is born, and its first introduction to its family but few about the transition of adoption. This book fills a void for the adoptive child.
Included at the back of the book is a parents’ guide, “Talking to Your Child about Adoption,” which also discusses types of adoptions available in the United States. This could be very helpful for a family contemplating adopting a(nother) child.
This is a sweet, simple book for the three- to five-year-old child.
-Lani J. Rosenberger
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